Outdoor Censored Blanket

Horsecock™ Outdoor Blanket
So Big, So Warm, You’ll Need a Safe Word

Say goodbye to chilly nights and hello to unsolicited attention with the Horsecock™ Outdoor Blanket—a gloriously oversized 63" x 63" square of soft, durable warmth that wraps around you like a compliment you definitely didn’t ask for.

Made in the USA from 100% acrylic (because wool was too afraid to compete), this blanket is machine washable, fire-pit ready, and guaranteed to start conversations like:
“Where’d you get that?”
“Is that name serious?”
and
“...are you compensating for something?”
(Yes. It’s called style.)

Size: 63" x 63" – generously large, just like everything else you tell people about yourself

Material: 100% acrylic – soft enough to cuddle, tough enough to survive cowboy shenanigans

Care: Machine washable – because real champions spill chili

Made in: The land of liberty and large blanket energy

Colors: Midnight Stud, Blaze Red, and Grey Mare (because naming things is hard when you're this cozy)

Perfect for:

• Nights at the stables when the temperature drops but your standards don’t

• Impressing strangers without saying a single word

• Looking like you definitely own at least one pair of leather boots you didn’t need

So go ahead—throw it around your shoulders, strike a pose, and let the Horsecock™ Blanket do what it does best:
Keep you warm, comfortable, and questionably respected.