Horsecock Championship Ring

Horsecock™ Championship Ring
So Big, It Has Its Own Zip Code

Behold: the Horsecock™ Championship Ring—a colossal, finger-crushing symbol of victory, delusion, and absolutely zero restraint. Measuring 1.25" x 1.25" of pure costume-grade glory, this ring isn’t just jewelry—it’s a portable ego.

Decked out with 72 sparkling fake diamonds (because real ones can’t handle this level of drama), this ring catches light, attention, and judgmental glances from strangers. It's shiny. It's gaudy. It’s everything your therapist warned you about.

Size: A mighty 12—non-resizable, non-negotiable. Fits best on pinkies, middles, or that one finger you use to express yourself in traffic.

Weight: Heavy enough to double as a self-defense tool or small kettlebell.

Shine: Blinding. May cause temporary friendships or permanent exes.

Material: Premium-grade alloy, forged in the fires of poor decision-making and pure swagger.

Stones: 72 ultra-sparkly, absolutely fake diamonds—because let’s face it, you spent the diamond budget on pizza and band merch.

Perfect for:

• Celebrating your latest “win” (real or imagined)

• Intimidating opponents at board game night

• Flexing on your ex during their cousin’s wedding

• Making sure everyone at the bar knows you peaked in high school

Slip this beast on and feel the power of a thousand power chords coursing through your hand.

Horsecock™: Rock the ring. Own the chaos. Leave no finger unbothered.